Thursday, October 13, 2011
The scale stuck for a couple of weeks, but moved again this week, back to the 183.5 that plagued me earlier this year. I've been pretty good with food, and haven't been stuck anywhere close to as often as I was. I still have to watch it with dry protein, but anything with a little moisture and a lot of chewing usually goes down all right. Hunger has peaks and valleys, of course. I've been so busy that stray munching doesn't happen much, and I'm broke so going out to eat isn't happening either.
I forgot what a total timesuck math is. Between the two math courses I'm taking now, I have HOURS of homework that I have to squeeze in whenever I can. Therefore my gym time has been very erratic. My once-a-week social evenings have been consistently involving dancing my ass off like I'm 22 again (sans the dollar well drinks), so I'm getting in at least one workout a week. hehheh
It looks like everyone had a blast in Chicago! Maybe I'll make one of those events someday -- I love Chicago and I would love to meet some of the awesome folks whose blogs I follow!
I'm ready for this time at this weight to NOT be a plateau. I haven't been here since March, so it's good to have gotten off almost all of the summer slump's gain and be comfortable in my jeans again.
I do have a drawer full of the next size down, though, so I want to get into those 11s (and out of them!) as soon as possible!! :D
Friday, September 23, 2011
It's Friday and you know what that means - yes? It's time for BYOC. Bring Your Own Crazy like your life depends on it! We answer a few questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and ENJOY!!
1. If you were a character on Friends, who would you be and why?
I haven't seen Friends all that often, but probably more like Phoebe than anyone else, though with a heavy dose of pragmatism thrown in for good measure. I can totally be that offbeat and weird, but I also take a very logical approach to problem-solving.
2. If you weren't in your current career what other career do you think you would have done?
I'm working on it now! My current career is one that I just don't have a passion for anymore, although it has allowed me to spend the last several years as a work-from-home mom, so I can't complain too much. I still make a little supplemental income from the business, which helps with household expenses and has been funding my school expenses to get me into a NEW career --- biomedical engineering if the math doesn't kill me. ;)
3. What did you want to be when you grew up when you were 6?
A gypsy, a mom, a scientist, an astronaut. I've been a gypsy (sort of), I am a mom, I'm working on the scientist thing, and maybe commercial space travel will be an option before I die. *laugh*
4. Do you think everyone only has one soulmate or true love? Or are there multiple people for everyone?
I absolutely believe it is possible to fall in love with more than one person. I'm not particularly impressed by the idea of a soulmate or a one true love. I also think the idea of such has been the cause of a whole lot of disappointment, heartbreak, and life trauma. People readily jump from relationship to relationship, looking for this unrealistic perfection that's perpetuated by movies, books, and television media. The expectation is that the passion and energy of the new relationship is going to last forever, and when it doesn't, they jump ship for the next best thing to hit the scene. In reality, relationships have ups and downs, periods of excitement and lulls of routine. It's all part of a bigger picture.
In addition, much like friends and family each bring something different to the table, each non-platonic relationship can do the same thing. Why is it that a person is not only able, but expected to have love for innumerable children, siblings, cousins, friends, etc., but is expected to only have romantic love for one and one only forever? That just doesn't make any sense. Love isn't a finite resource, at least that's what I'd like to think! :)
5. Repeat question. Summarize your week in real life and in blog land.
Math. College Algebra, Trigonometry, homework. Class on Tuesday and Thursday, a test on Wednesday. Hopefully I did OK. Trig seems to be easier than CA, for some reason. It's all technically a refresher for me, but it's been 20 years, so it's buried DEEP in my brain somewhere. The excavation of information is proving painful. hehe
Hit the gym only 2 days this week, but it should get easier to get in another two starting next week when the kids start swim lessons at the gym on two other days.
Slow-moving scale, but it is moving, so I'll take it. I haven't been getting stuck as much, thank goodness! We're on a budget even tighter than usual for the next month, so lots of chicken and crockpot recipes in my near future. Only a few pounds left of my summertime gain to get back to my low point -- and then hopefully pass it up!!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
He was on the crew that built a big project to represent the local Burn community here in Austin/Texas, so he got to go out there early to set it up. I've been to Burning Man 7 times since 1997, but this was his first time to go. We've both done the local regional event, Burning Flipside, many times over the years, but the big Burn is a horse of a different color.
Here's the project they built -- isn't it gorgeous??
It burned beautifully as well (building art that looks awesome both on its own and on fire isn't always easy).
He's on his way back now. Last night he was near Vegas, but I'm sure they're well on their way through Arizona by now.
The kiddos and I have been on our own for that time. My classes started, the Peanut (my younger daughter) started pre-K on Tuesdays and Thursdays as well, and I've been making big strides on my Smite List --- that is, getting unpacked in our new digs and fixing things up around here.
The gas range croaked right before he left, and our landlord has made it clear that she is not keen on maintaining the appliances. So, I made a deal with her. I picked up a new-to-us range on craigslist and installed it, and she let me take the cost off the next rent check.
I think the issue is that her English is very weak (Mandarin is her native), so dealing with repair/replace issues is not something she wants to have to do. I don't mind dealing with people or doing the replacements/repairs myself, as long as I don't have to pay for it.
So it worked out.
So yeah, range installed, manymanymany boxes unpacked, shelves built, pot rack mounted (that was a royal pain in the butt, lemmetellya), and basic housekeeping maintained.
Also kid-care, homework, gym time, and meal planning have gone well!
Sometimes I wonder if I'm borderline bipolar or something. When I'm "up", there ain't no stopping me. But the "down" times, like this summer, are so devoid of motivation, it's pitiful. I've got to find some sort of balance somewhere. Or figure out how to stay in the "up" mode all the damn time. I love being this productive, that's for sure.
Hopefully I can keep the household in the groove when my spouse gets back. The girls and I are very good at settling into a routine when we're on our own. It doesn't work as well with him in the mix, but he's a great dad and they miss him bunches. I miss having my best friend to spend time with and talk to, but there definitely is going to be some readjustment time as we find/make a new routine that includes him again.
Scale's moving down again --- Yay!!! Let's see if I can actually see a decent net loss for 2011, because so far this year has been a wash. hehe
Time to go color my head again. My hair's so short it needs redoing every time I get a trim.
Here's what it looked like 3 weeks ago, and what I'm "refreshing" on it today. :)
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Do. Not. Rush. Eating.
No matter how soft/easy I think a food may be, it can still get stuck if I eat it too fast.
This semester I have 10 minutes between my classes. I rushed out the door this morning with only time for a quick protein shake, so by the time my first class was out, I was RAVENOUS. I had packed a healthy little lunch : 3oz shredded moroccan chicken, some cooked summer squash, and some mushy cooked cauliflower. I knew I didn't have time to safely eat the squash or chicken, but I figured the cauliflower was a safe bet. Oh, no.
I spent most of my 1.5 hour Trig class sliming and in pain. Gross TMI, but I couldn't leave class (I am in WAY over my head and can't miss ANY of the building blocks in this class), so I pretended to drink my water and just slimed into it instead. UGH.
Suffice it to say I WILL be *making* time to make something slightly more substantial to eat on (my) school mornings, and I will include a greek yogurt in case I absolutely have to eat between classes.
This old dog will eventually learn these new tricks, right?? ;)
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
I'm still not sure if I damaged myself this summer with the overeating, but I guess time will tell. My best girl, who was banded the same day I was, recently found out that she has what our surgeon is calling a hernia of her stomach, but which sounds like a prolapse from her description. I hope against hope that it can be repaired and she doesn't lose her band. Her progress has been slow, but very good, and she's so very, very close to Onederland!
I would so take her place on this if I could. The band for her has been a great weight loss tool, whereas for me it seems to be a better tool for keeping me from binging too much, but not so much a good losing tool. I *hate* the way it works when it does for me -- by making me terrified of pain rather than satisfied with small portions. LOL
It is what it is, though, and I made this choice.... so I've got to make it work for me and not against me.
Being back in school and having my elder daughter back in school really helps my motivation. The schedule just seems to keep me targeted better. My spouse is out of town for 3 weeks to his first Burning Man excursion. I've been 7 times, and we've both been to the local regional Burn multiple times, but this is his first jaunt to the big Burn in the desert. I hope he's having fun!
Oddly enough, him not being here is making everything run more smoothly for the kids and for me. We get into our own groove pretty easily, and me knowing that I have to keep up with the schedule, cooking, and the house on my own means it all gets done. Our relationship is sort of weird, and one aspect of it being weird is that we're honestly better at getting things done separately than together. He's missed, by this household and the extended households as well, but we'll have to figure out how to keep the works running smoothly when he returns! hehe
My muscles are all sore from my return to exercise, but it's a good sort of pain. I'm only at 3 days/week right now, but I'm working on fitting more into the schedule.
Let's hope I can keep up the new pace and edge my way closer to goal this semester!!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
And boy howdy, I definitely didn't treat myself right this summer at all.
I lost my momentum back in May, but hadn't blogged since April, so I should have known it was coming. Around the third week in May, I twisted the heck outta my ankle/foot and even though it recovered by mid-June, I didn't set foot inside the gym again until yesterday.
As I've watched the scale creep ever closer back towards 200, I kept telling myself I needed to get back on track. But never quite managed to do so. Lots of summer treats and no exercise made gaining inevitable.
I made the discovery that my band gets really freakin' tight when I'm stressed out, and when I'm stressed I'm not likely to want to put up with being stuck all the time --- so can we say sliiiiiiiiiiider foods?? *sigh*
I learned exactly how to eat "around" my band, and I got very, very good at it. Gained 16 pounds, though it could be worse. At least the band kept me from binging as badly as I used to do before I got it. I can still binge, but it takes me a while, and my lower stomach does have time to register feeling full before I can consume as much as I could pre-band.
Anyways, it seems that I'm finally coming out of the emotional/mental downward spiral in which I spent the summer. This is good for a variety of reasons, but the one that applies here is that it means I'm more likely to stick with the rules and enforce structure in my life in general. When I'm in this mode, I can focus (good for the upcoming school semester), I have energy for working out, getting our new digs unpacked and set up, and for meal prep -- my kids have suffered this summer from my ennui too.
I'll be back-reading a little bit on your blogs too, though I doubt I'll make it through 4 months of posts. ;)
Monday, April 11, 2011
I'm pretty sure I went overboard on Friday, calorie-wise. And my "off" day can't be quite so off. I don't think that reflected on the scale so much as on my energy levels. Reintroducing complex carbs one day a week just means I'm groggy and dumb for the whole latter half of that day. So, this Sunday I'm going to minimize that, but say OK to some fruit and more veggies. Obviously this sprint needs some tweaking. heheheh
Here's a pic from a couple of weeks ago, taken at Austin's Grilled Cheese Invitational. Yeah, this banded girl went to a grilled cheese cookoff, hosted and organized by my best girl and fellow bandster, oddly enough. I ate some sammiches, more than I ought to have done, but far less than I would have in my pre-band days. :D
I wish I had gotten a pic without the apron... I think I was actually looking pretty good in my fitted tank top and tee that day! My "wings" are getting more noticeable, but they could be worse. ;)
Friday, April 8, 2011
I'm slogging along with week 2 of my 6 day "not quite the pouch test" sprint. Monday/Tuesday have been the hardest, both weeks, for obvious reasons. Liquids are so NOT satisfying, especially when you're at a low fill point. But the promise of solids has gotten me through, and then the promise of my "off" day is getting me through the rest of the week.
I am averageing about 1000 calories per day, sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. I try to get in at least 100g of protein, and minimize my net carbs.
This week, I did add more veggies starting Wed/Thurs, mostly because we do local farm delivery every two weeks and all four of us have to eat on it or it goes bad. My spouse won't eat cooked leafy greens, and this time of year that's a huge portion of the delivery. So yeah.... kale and chard got added to my intake this week.
I can SEE this working, which is so weird. I looked in the mirror today and saw a slightly older version of my 22-year-old self looking back at me. I haven't been this weight since my spouse and I were dating, back almost 15 years ago. I'm still above my lowest weight ever as an adult, but not far from it.
Anyways.... what I eat in a typical day (or Fri/Sat of this sprint) when I'm staying on-track and losing:
- 1 whole egg
- 1 egg white
- .5 oz shredded fat-free cheddar, or 1/2 turkey sausage, or 1 oz meat
- 1 to 2 tbls salsa
(all in an omelette or scramble)
OR, if I'm feeling very tight
- 1 scoop Optimum Nutrition 100% Whey Vanilla Ice Cream protein powder
- 1 cup Soy Slender Vanilla soy milk
- 4 to 6 oz plain greek yogurt, maybe with a tiny bit of flavor added or splenda/flavor extract
- 20 almonds
- light string cheese
- Atkins bar or protein shake
- .5 cup of lowfat cottage cheese
- .5 cup of fruit (sometimes I just gotta!)
- 3 to 4 oz meat or fish
- a little bit of some sort of veggie
- low-carb dressing or marinade, or more salsa, or some sort of healthy sauce (to make the meat less likely to get stuck),
- another selection from the above list, usually
- very similar to lunch. Lunch is usually made with leftover dinner, so that makes sense. ;)
Sometimes I will have dessert
- sugar-free pudding made with greek yogurt, skim milk, and protein powder (if I'm hungrier)
- sugar free popsicle
This breakdown results in an average 1.5 pound per week loss for me. My maintenance levels are not quite double this amount -- about 1800 calories and more balanced, including some whole grains. My final maintenance levels will probably be a little less than that, maybe 1500-1600 calories.
I can't wait to see how this week has treated me -- Sunday morning weigh-in, here I come!
I'm also looking forward to the Challenge results from last week being posted. I think there are several of us who kicked it into gear big time last week! :D
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Today's weigh-in put me in at a whopping 5.5 pounds down, well into the 170s (FINALLY), and at 91 pounds down total. YAY!!!!!!
This week was hard, but not unmanageable. I need to adjust my timing with meals so I don't end up with one big stretch in the afternoon/evening when I'm freaking ravenous, or light-headed. I definitely feel banded again, even though my fill level is so minimal. Before seeing Sucker Punch last night, we stopped off at the BBQ place across the street. I couldn't measure it, of course, but I doubt I managed 5 ounces of meat off my plate. Yum, leftovers!
Today's day "off" includes Dim Sum brunch with friends and my kids, and maybe taking the girls for a small frozen yogurt. Then, on Monday, it's back to liquids for two days to start off week 2 of this sprint towards my Memorial Day/pre-bandiversary mini-goal.
I just realized yesterday that if this works, I am going to be up the proverbial creek for clothes for summer, and we have NO room in the budget for clothes shopping. Last night's dinner/movie was a real splurge for us. We almost never see first-run movies (Kick Ass was the last first-run film we saw), but it was at a theater on the UT campus, so I got a decent student discount.
I think I'm going to have to sort through both the stuff that came back from the consignment shop and the new bins that have been filled with too-big clothes and start listing them on Ebay. Then have a garage sale too. Bleh, the Ebay thing can be lucrative, but it's a lot of hours of work to put in, especially when my plate is so full of homework/work/kids. Ah well, it's that or wear huge Ts and jeans all summer, I guess. heheh
Thursday, March 31, 2011
I'd like to see some serious progress before my annual Memorial Day campout (and my bandiversary in June), so I think I'm going to spend the time between now and May 25th cycling a SIX day pouch test, plus one day off, every week.
So, that would be:
Monday, Tuesday -- liquid protein
Wednesday, Thursday -- soft protein (Wed: eggs and fish, cottage cheese, Thurs : ground meat, shrimp options too)
Friday, Saturday -- firm protein (all other meats, tofu - which acts like a firm meat for me, pouch-wise)
Sunday -- off, variety of healthy choices
I'm hoping this will yield some forward motion on the scale, and I think I can stick with it given the "off" day, at least for a few weeks. The weekend of April 14-17 will have to be somewhat "off" too, because I'll be at a campout where the food is all prepped as part of the cost of the event. The woman that does the food for it has a RNY bypass, though, so she always prepares some options that are WLS-friendly.
For now, I am going to switch my weigh-in day from Thursday to Sunday. This will let me weigh only once per week, instead of weighing on Thursday and then again for the Challenge on Sunday.
I might change my mind on this whole diet sprint, depending on if my energy levels balance out or not. I had a rough time this morning at the gym. I did get in an hour of cardio, but it wasn't particularly enthusiastic cardio. hehehe ;)
But for now, this is the tenative plan! Rar!!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
In fact, this is progress --- a 1.5# loss since Sunday. Let's see if it holds until Sunday's challenge weigh-in. My clothes are fitting differently, too, even if the scale is being extraordinarily stubborn.
I got my time from the race on 3/19. 49 minutes, which is shaving just over 4 minutes off my previous time back in November. Yay!!
And that's even without any outdoor trail running -- only treadmill and street time -- since November. :)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
-2.9 pound loss from last Thursday, and -4.4 from the Challenge weigh-in on Sunday.
I'm at my mom's place right now, so we'll see if it's just a scale fluke or not when I get back in town.
Saturday the spouse and I are heading to Conroe, Texas (near Houston) for the Warrior Dash. Hopefully I can beat my time from November's race, though it probably won't be by much. I've been gym and street running, but not trail running for training this time, so we'll see if that affects my performance.
I'll touch base on Sunday... wish me luck!
Have a great weekend, and Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Lucky kisses and pinches for all y'all! ;)
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I think that's all my scale knows how to say recently. Mind you, it only displays in .5 increments, so I know I'm not getting super-detailed weights, but still.
I've gone back to logging my food for the last week or so, and am getting in around 1200-1400 calories per day. I am definitely getting enough protein, but I think my carbs are still over where they need to be. So, I'll tweak that over the next week and see if I see some progress.
I am also tempted to get another REE/RMR done at my Dr's office, but it's not covered by insurance and over $100, so I probably won't. I'm basing my caloric intake on the one I had done at the beginning, and I know it's changed -- but I don't know which direction, as I'm much more active now, which may counter the fact that I weigh less.
Still loving the unfill. I have had a few stuck episodes, on tofu and stew beef so far, and some near-stuck feelings on a few other occasions. WAY better than getting stuck every time non-liquid protein enters my mouth.
Speaking of protein... I don't know why I didn't try this when I was on liquids/mushies, but protein PUDDING!! My recent sweet tooth obsession has been a serving of skim milk sugar free fat free pudding. I randomly wondered if I could add my protein powder to it, looked it up, and tried it. Two scoops of powder in there blended just fine. It took a little longer to set up, but very tasty when done! And now one serving of pudding gives me 14g of protein with an additional 60 calories. Not bad. :)
Here's hoping the scale moves between now and Sunday, when I weigh-in again for the Challenge. ;)
Monday, March 7, 2011
I'm not sure what my personal goals are with this challenge. I *think* I'm going to shoot for 10#, which is just over 1.5# per week. I'd like to try for more, though, as I've really fallen behind where I'd like to be at this point, and it's looking really unlikely that I will make goal by my band anniversary.
My spouse and I signed up for the Warrior Dash again, and this race is on March 19. I've been doing pretty well about getting in my run (or some other sort of workout) 4-5 days per week recently, but I'm really stuck and can't seem to make any headway on the amount of time I can run before having to walk and get my heartrate down. Oh well, at least I'm getting it in. The time between now and race is going to be HARD, though, as my eldest daughter is now on Spring Break until the Monday after the race (she gets two weeks as she goes to a year-round school). So my up-and-at-em early morning workout that I do after I take her to school is going to require me motivating myself independently every morning. Obviously, I'm off to such a great start, as it's 10:00am already and we're still hanging out in our PJs. *sigh*
Oh, the unfill thing is working out nicely. I'm having a bit of a challenge weaning myself off the carbs, but it's made much easier by the fact that I CAN eat the protein. Loving my omelettes, cooking on the grill, and making roasts. I've still had a couple of stuck episodes on tofu, so I'm proceeding with caution on my tofu recipes.
I'm back to trying to track everything to get/keep my portions back under control, and to make sure I'm meeting my protein and overall calorie goals. I know this helps me tremendously when I stick with it, so that's what I've gotta do! ;)
Friday, February 18, 2011
Yesterday, I finally decided that enough was enough, and I went in and had my band deflated to what it was at the time of my first fill.
So, I believe I have only 3.5cc in there right now.
I was so discouraged by being stuck all the time, in pain almost every time I ate, and afraid to eat the foods I know are healthy (and that I actually prefer to eat!).
I had reached a point where I was making myself vomit after at least one meal a day, just to not be in pain. I was never that brand of bulimic before, it sucks that WLS brought me to that point.
I had gotten to the point where I was eating slider foods (not horrible ones MOST of the time, but still) like cereal and such in quantities that were just not good.... and getting VERY tired of beans and legumes.
So, we'll see if I can manage my portions on my own again somewhat. Dr. G didn't have a problem unfilling me this much, as he said that when I was last at this level before I was my most successful post-banding.
I am looking forward to eating regular breakfasts again (EGGGGGS!!@!@!) and not being terrified to eat lean meats and fish and tofu.
Seeing as December, January, and February (thus far) have been a total wash, and I feel physically awful from the high-carb eating, I think that whatever happens now with the looser band is likely to be an improvement.
I think the band will make a great maintenance tool for me, but it's just not doing it for me as a weight loss tool so far. That's OK, I don't suck at taking off the weight .... I just suck at KEEPING it off.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
I just seem to have misplaced my motivation somewhere.
And, I feel sort of lost with my band recently. My stuck episodes have decreased somewhat, but still seem to happen any time I try to eat the foods I'm supposed to be eating (all meats, fish, chicken, tofu, eggs). If I lay down a "layer" of something soft first, then I can sometimes get down those foods, but unfortunately I can also get down as much of ANYTHING as I want to eat.
All this is leading me to make carb-based choices on my foods, and of course eating carbs leads to wanting carbs -- and a lot of 'em. Cereal is my binge food, always has been. I'm not big on sugared cereals, at least. But multiple bowls of Cheerios or Kix? My band says absolutely nothing about me eating that, and the carbs have gotten me into this vicious downward spiral with cereal, cookies (my MIL brought freakin' girl scout cookies when she came to visit!!), birthday cake, bread, rice, etc.
This is my third week in a row to see the scale take a leap upward. I'm back where I was at the beginning of December.
Another fill? What, and guarantee I can't eat any protein except in shake form?
But my quantities of everything else are WAY out of whack. So a fill seems like it would be the right move for that reason.
I've actually still lost more weight BEFORE getting banded than since.
I have no idea what to do, but I can't keep doing what I've been doing, that's for sure. :(
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I don't get stuck with any frequency on anything except MEAT. All meat, unless it's finely minced and chewed into oblivion... and even then sometimes.
Grrrrr. As much as I love legumes, and I love dairy, neither is as satisfying for the duration as meat is.
I did have a fill on the 22nd, and managed to make it through all of last week with only one stuck episode, on an ill-chewed shrimp. As I type this, however, I'm squirming in agony and spitting into a cup..... which I've been doing for the last 30 minutes. I did the same thing last night and for lunch on soft fish.
I just want to be able to eat lean protein in the form of meat (and eggs, which also get stuck all the damn time) without discomfort.
I know I'm not overfilled, as I'm able to eat just about anything else in more than adequate quantities.