weight loss tracker

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Ugh. Why does my brain do this?

Having a fat day. Fat and GRUMPY.

I don't understand how one day I can feel pretty good about the way I'm looking (in clothes) and the next just feel like a blob.

Maybe it's because not only is the weight loss showing, but my skin is starting to really show what it is NOT going to do in the process. Namely, tighten up with any sort of uniformity.

So I'm looking OK in clothes, but naked things are just not making me happy. Weird bulges and wrinkles and rolls that aren't really rolls. VERY saggy boobies and strange ripples on my knees. And really? It seems like it's just all sort of started happening in the last couple of weeks.

Now, between 2005 and 2007, I lost about 100 pounds (before I gained it back and then some). That wasn't that long ago... and while things were a little bit flabby, it was nothing like this. Yes, I had another baby in there too, but seriously??? *sigh*

So, yeah. Fat day. Grumpy day. Not hungry at all this morning, so HUNGRY day this afternoon. I guess it's good that we don't have a ton of food in the house right now, because I was limited on binge-able foodstuffs. We don't ever keep junk food around, but usually there's SOMETHING I can over-indulge in. Not so much today.

2.5 cups of lowfat cottage cheese..... LOL

Now I feel all distended and weird (but not stuck, cottage cheese definitely is a slider food), and lame for binging. And oddly, even lamer for not even being able to get a 'real' binge on.

Of course it's also been one of those days where the children blatantly ignore or throw fits at EVERYTHING I ask them to do/not do, so it's been fun all the way around.

And I'm caught in a catch-22 for this evening. I have the opportunity to go to a Girls' Night thing and get some much needed adult socializing in....

However, said Girls' Night is also being billed as an evening of cake, cookies, ice cream, wine, cheese, and other assorted culinary delights evils.


/whiny rant


  1. I'm realizing that the roll on my lower tummy is probably not fat and it's not going to go away. And today I noticed a weird wrinkle on my inner leg that I know was never there before. So yeah, it was an upsetting day for me too. It's not what I want but it's what I have done to myself so I have to learn to accept it. I may never look good naked but FAR less people see me naked then those who see me with my clothes on and at least I look good with my clothes on. Big hugs

  2. If you don't yet have the confidence to attend the GNO without derailing your progress, bow out just this once until you time to work on your control or in a good fill to help out.