Oh look, I'm on the radar again....

... and other thoughts.

So last night's Freak Homecoming Dance brought home something that I'd noticed every other time I've lost weight, but hadn't noticed yet this go-around. Usually, right around the time I hit onederland, I come back on the radar as far as attention from guys is concerned. I haven't been particularly social, so it hadn't come up too much yet, but last night it definitely did. I showed up, and the attention was *immediate* from a couple of guys I'd dated casually in my long-lost past (who haven't said hardly boo to me in the intervening "fat" years -- not rude to me, I was just invisible). And another guy that I never dated, but knew me back in the late 90s came up to me and was asking me what I'd been up to, why he hadn't seen me around since he moved to Austin, etc. The thing is, he HAS seen me around.... but I didn't register on his radar, so he never realized that we were at the same parties and such for the last couple of years. LOL

I got a little bit of the same sort of stuff at a local monthly social dinner recently. Several guys (who I've seen at these things every few months for the past 3 years) apparently just noticed I exist. It's weird and disconcerting. At least the female contingent of my various social circles is more observant (and less "radar"-oriented, it seems). heheheh

On the flipside, I have been noticing some other interesting phenomena. A post from Lap Band Gal got me to thinking about my attitudes about justifying food, and about how people react to food statements. And about how those attitudes and reactions change as I become less overweight.

I was at a new Chinese place with my spouse and kids a couple of nights ago. Kind of like Pei Wei, but local and with less options. Anyways, there was a very obese couple eating at a table near where the line to order was. They had ordered the lettuce wraps as an appetizer, and I was really impressed with the large portion size (as I was looking to feed all four of us off it). I commented that "Wow, that's a big amount" or something similar, and immediately I could tell that she had interpreted it wrong -- her eyes narrowed and she mumbled something about how it was only chicken and mushrooms and lettuce. She would have probably taken it as intended from the 270# me, but it definitely went awry from the 191# me. Oops. I casually clarified that it was a lot of bang for the buck and proceeded to order one of the same for us, plus my entree, my spouse's, and a kids' entree for them to split. We then proceeded to discuss kids and her grandkids, so I think everything was fine from there, but there was a real moment of ACK on my part. I guess I'm going to have to think about what I say more closely, as I'm so used to being on that side of the fence that I still see myself there --- even if other people don't now.

My camera last night had serious blurry issues, so I didn't get any good body pics. But, there were other cameras and a pro taking pics too, so once those are posted, hopefully there will be one where I can see how I actually looked. I don't have a full head-to-toe mirror here, so I never did get to see the total package that I managed to wrangle for an outfit. ;)