I'm beginning to think that my band is really a secret plot by someone out there to turn me vegetarian.
I don't get stuck with any frequency on anything except MEAT. All meat, unless it's finely minced and chewed into oblivion... and even then sometimes.
Grrrrr. As much as I love legumes, and I love dairy, neither is as satisfying for the duration as meat is.
I did have a fill on the 22nd, and managed to make it through all of last week with only one stuck episode, on an ill-chewed shrimp. As I type this, however, I'm squirming in agony and spitting into a cup..... which I've been doing for the last 30 minutes. I did the same thing last night and for lunch on soft fish.
ARGH.
I just want to be able to eat lean protein in the form of meat (and eggs, which also get stuck all the damn time) without discomfort.
I know I'm not overfilled, as I'm able to eat just about anything else in more than adequate quantities.
:(
weight loss tracker
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Slow, but steady?
Well, sort of, I guess. This week could have been (and probably should have been) worse. My band's been feeling much looser for the last couple of weeks, and I've been pushing my portions. AND making less-than-great food choices (hellllllooooo cookies?!?!). As of yesterday morning, I was 4 pounds up from last week. ACK!!!
Fortunately, this morning was 'official' weigh-day, and I'm only a pound up. I'm going to chalk that up to the fact that I called Dr. G's office on Monday and made a last-minute appointment to get a fill -- which I did yesterday. So, I was on liquids/mushies yesterday and didn't consume much at all. He put back in the .5cc that he took out back in September when I was over-filled. It feels no where near as tight this time as it did last time. He had me make an appointment for 4 weeks from now, so I may well get another tiny fill then.
I don't like my band being super-tight, but I've been able to eat like I'm not banded for a couple of weeks now. Hopefully this little fill will put the brakes on things some, even if it's not bringing me back to what I feel is ideal restriction for me. I didn't want to overdo it, especially as I'm going to be out of town for a week (Sun-Sun).
I think we're ready for the holidays. We're on a tight budget, so I've been picking up things a little bit at a time for the kids. We were going to build them a computer from all the parts we have and that my dad has, but my spouse has been working crazy overtime to get enough put together so we can just buy one instead. Nothing fancy, just something that they can play kid games on and that my oldest can use to visit websites for school. The rest of the gift thing I kept simple, just picking up some books, doll clothes, and a couple of board games. And a zhu-zhu pet for each of them. :)
Back in October, a friend of mine who will never be having children passed along her American Girl dolls and ALL clothing and accessories she had collected. (a whole little wardrobe full!). My oldest daughter fell in LOVE with her doll and is obsessed with the story of her doll's character, dressing her up, etc. So I ordered a couple of non-AG matching outfits (actual AG stuff is EXPENSIVE!!) that I hope she'll enjoy, and the box set of the stories from Hastings secondhand. Yay!
Speaking of great deals -- I had the BEST thrift store haul ever yesterday. I found out through an Austin blog that the St. Vincent de Paul thrift shop was closing its doors, and had discounted everything to dirt-cheap prices. And when I say dirt-cheap, I mean it. Almost all clothing was $.25 each. I pretty much got my older girl's entire wardrobe for the next size up -- 25+ pieces. Plus some items she can wear now, a few things for the little one, a shirt and a couple of dresses for me, some kid books and videos, and assorted odds and ends. All for $23. Crazy!
My spouse has to work on Christmas Day and through the weekend, so we're just doing stockings here on Christmas morning, then the kids and I will be meeting up with some of our dear ones (non-blood-family) for Dim Sum. Then on Sunday I'll be taking the kids to my folks' place for the week, and we'll do the 'big' Christmas to-do on Tuesday. Having grown up in a house where my mom was a nurse and worked many holidays, we have never been sticklers for holidays actually being celebrated ON the calendar day. Early? Late? Sure, whatever. As long as we're together, it's all good. Spouse and I aren't religious at all, so the date really doesn't matter to us. ;)
Hopefully I can make it through the visit with my aunt. We had a falling out back in May (huge stupid story), and this will be the first time I've seen her since. She has more body-image issues than most, and is going to probably be a complete freak about my weight loss. I don't want to make a big deal of it, I've been trying to keep focus on the health benefits rather than the aesthetics of it around my daughters, but she is going to be ALL about how it looks, and very vocal (the woman is LOUD) too. *sigh*
Ah well, hopefully we can make it through the visit without any major trauma. I'm only holding out the olive branch for my mom's sake, so I'll have to keep my sass in check. ;)
Happy holidays to everyone! Whatever you celebrate (if you do), may it be filled with love and loved ones! :)
Fortunately, this morning was 'official' weigh-day, and I'm only a pound up. I'm going to chalk that up to the fact that I called Dr. G's office on Monday and made a last-minute appointment to get a fill -- which I did yesterday. So, I was on liquids/mushies yesterday and didn't consume much at all. He put back in the .5cc that he took out back in September when I was over-filled. It feels no where near as tight this time as it did last time. He had me make an appointment for 4 weeks from now, so I may well get another tiny fill then.
I don't like my band being super-tight, but I've been able to eat like I'm not banded for a couple of weeks now. Hopefully this little fill will put the brakes on things some, even if it's not bringing me back to what I feel is ideal restriction for me. I didn't want to overdo it, especially as I'm going to be out of town for a week (Sun-Sun).
I think we're ready for the holidays. We're on a tight budget, so I've been picking up things a little bit at a time for the kids. We were going to build them a computer from all the parts we have and that my dad has, but my spouse has been working crazy overtime to get enough put together so we can just buy one instead. Nothing fancy, just something that they can play kid games on and that my oldest can use to visit websites for school. The rest of the gift thing I kept simple, just picking up some books, doll clothes, and a couple of board games. And a zhu-zhu pet for each of them. :)
Back in October, a friend of mine who will never be having children passed along her American Girl dolls and ALL clothing and accessories she had collected. (a whole little wardrobe full!). My oldest daughter fell in LOVE with her doll and is obsessed with the story of her doll's character, dressing her up, etc. So I ordered a couple of non-AG matching outfits (actual AG stuff is EXPENSIVE!!) that I hope she'll enjoy, and the box set of the stories from Hastings secondhand. Yay!
Speaking of great deals -- I had the BEST thrift store haul ever yesterday. I found out through an Austin blog that the St. Vincent de Paul thrift shop was closing its doors, and had discounted everything to dirt-cheap prices. And when I say dirt-cheap, I mean it. Almost all clothing was $.25 each. I pretty much got my older girl's entire wardrobe for the next size up -- 25+ pieces. Plus some items she can wear now, a few things for the little one, a shirt and a couple of dresses for me, some kid books and videos, and assorted odds and ends. All for $23. Crazy!
My spouse has to work on Christmas Day and through the weekend, so we're just doing stockings here on Christmas morning, then the kids and I will be meeting up with some of our dear ones (non-blood-family) for Dim Sum. Then on Sunday I'll be taking the kids to my folks' place for the week, and we'll do the 'big' Christmas to-do on Tuesday. Having grown up in a house where my mom was a nurse and worked many holidays, we have never been sticklers for holidays actually being celebrated ON the calendar day. Early? Late? Sure, whatever. As long as we're together, it's all good. Spouse and I aren't religious at all, so the date really doesn't matter to us. ;)
Hopefully I can make it through the visit with my aunt. We had a falling out back in May (huge stupid story), and this will be the first time I've seen her since. She has more body-image issues than most, and is going to probably be a complete freak about my weight loss. I don't want to make a big deal of it, I've been trying to keep focus on the health benefits rather than the aesthetics of it around my daughters, but she is going to be ALL about how it looks, and very vocal (the woman is LOUD) too. *sigh*
Ah well, hopefully we can make it through the visit without any major trauma. I'm only holding out the olive branch for my mom's sake, so I'll have to keep my sass in check. ;)
Happy holidays to everyone! Whatever you celebrate (if you do), may it be filled with love and loved ones! :)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Not going to make it...
... to my Christmas Challenge goal.
So close, but unless something goes totally crazy in the next week, I'm not dropping another 5.5 pounds between today and the 25th. Ah well. I can't complain too much, 80-something pounds down for the year is nothing to sneeze at!
Well, maybe it is... I do notice that I'm FREEZING without so much of my squishy insulating layer of fat to protect me on cold days. ;)
*aaaaah-chooo!* hehehehe
(edited to add) Oh, I almost forgot -- yesterday was my 6-month-anniversary of getting my band. 39.5 pounds down since being banded. 83.5 pounds down since starting my band journey in January!
The semester is over, and I managed to somehow kick ass on all my classes. I have a 4.0 GPA right now, let's see if I can keep that up for another 3-4 years! *laugh*
Now to catch up on all the things that got put on the back burner for the past couple of weeks. Exercise and housekeeping most of all.
It's VERY hard for me to keep up with exercise when we are not on a schedule, but hopefully I can get back on track more than I did this week.
The house is a complete wreck, from top to bottom, and is becoming a real hazard to walk through due to kids' stuff everywhere. Our place is not very big, so chaos takes over in a hurry. I hope to get it all put together before the girls and I leave on the 26th to visit my parents.
The budget was VERY tight for the holidays this year, but I'd been buying in little bits for the past several months, so I think I'm all good for presents. My spouse doesn't plan in advance, so if I left it up to him, the kids would get what I typically get for gifts.... that is to say, nothing. I do plan and scrimp, so the kids (and the spouse, in fact) should have fun opening presents, even though we don't do high-dollar items as a general rule for Christmas. I am salvaging parts from my defunct desktop computer, and my dad has parts from his upgrades, so he and I will be building the girls a computer to bring back after New Year's Day. We'll be at home through Christmas Day, but we're keeping it simple here -- just stockings -- and celebrating bigger with my folks and sister a few days after.
I made decadent cranberry-orange-walnut oatmeal cookies yesterday for a potluck we were supposed to be going to tonight. However, the potluck was cancelled, and I have been grazing my way through the bag of cookies. ACK!! Why can't cookies get stuck by my band like chicken and turkey breast?!?!? I put the darn things in the garage fridge in hopes that I would leave them alone, but they're just so GOOD with hot tea. *sigh*
Hopefully everyone is avoiding holiday temptation better than I have been the past couple of days! I'm going to go play a little catchup on your blogs too. Hey, it's WAY better than the thought of tackling this house! ;D
So close, but unless something goes totally crazy in the next week, I'm not dropping another 5.5 pounds between today and the 25th. Ah well. I can't complain too much, 80-something pounds down for the year is nothing to sneeze at!
Well, maybe it is... I do notice that I'm FREEZING without so much of my squishy insulating layer of fat to protect me on cold days. ;)
*aaaaah-chooo!* hehehehe
(edited to add) Oh, I almost forgot -- yesterday was my 6-month-anniversary of getting my band. 39.5 pounds down since being banded. 83.5 pounds down since starting my band journey in January!
The semester is over, and I managed to somehow kick ass on all my classes. I have a 4.0 GPA right now, let's see if I can keep that up for another 3-4 years! *laugh*
Now to catch up on all the things that got put on the back burner for the past couple of weeks. Exercise and housekeeping most of all.
It's VERY hard for me to keep up with exercise when we are not on a schedule, but hopefully I can get back on track more than I did this week.
The house is a complete wreck, from top to bottom, and is becoming a real hazard to walk through due to kids' stuff everywhere. Our place is not very big, so chaos takes over in a hurry. I hope to get it all put together before the girls and I leave on the 26th to visit my parents.
The budget was VERY tight for the holidays this year, but I'd been buying in little bits for the past several months, so I think I'm all good for presents. My spouse doesn't plan in advance, so if I left it up to him, the kids would get what I typically get for gifts.... that is to say, nothing. I do plan and scrimp, so the kids (and the spouse, in fact) should have fun opening presents, even though we don't do high-dollar items as a general rule for Christmas. I am salvaging parts from my defunct desktop computer, and my dad has parts from his upgrades, so he and I will be building the girls a computer to bring back after New Year's Day. We'll be at home through Christmas Day, but we're keeping it simple here -- just stockings -- and celebrating bigger with my folks and sister a few days after.
I made decadent cranberry-orange-walnut oatmeal cookies yesterday for a potluck we were supposed to be going to tonight. However, the potluck was cancelled, and I have been grazing my way through the bag of cookies. ACK!! Why can't cookies get stuck by my band like chicken and turkey breast?!?!? I put the darn things in the garage fridge in hopes that I would leave them alone, but they're just so GOOD with hot tea. *sigh*
Hopefully everyone is avoiding holiday temptation better than I have been the past couple of days! I'm going to go play a little catchup on your blogs too. Hey, it's WAY better than the thought of tackling this house! ;D
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Hey, I haven't even eaten any Thanksgiving dinner yet!!!
However, something in my body must have reset this week, because I gained back 2 of the pounds I lost last week.
So, I'm barely back into obese, and I'm not 80# down anymore. Poop!
I guess this is good motivation to keep myself in check over the next few days of T-day madness. I have a Thanksgiving dinner today, tomorrow, AND Saturday that I'm slotted to attend. I might not go to the one on Saturday, though, if I can find some folks to go booty-shaking with me instead that night.
I know from experience that my body likes to do these little bounce-backs after a few weeks of good losses, but it's still not fun. My scale says that my body fat is lower, though, by a couple of percentage points. Hrmmmmmm.
Somehow I got put to task on making the foods I will not be actually eating for today. Mashed potatoes, homemade herb bread, and Nutella samosas. Oh yeah, and green beans. Those, I'll eat. ;) More bread-baking for tomorrow (a sourdough and an herb this time), and something sweet potato-y. I have some awesome sweet potato curries and such I could do, but my folks are traditionalists, so it will be something far too sticky sweet for my liking that I whip up instead.
I hope all my U.S. followers have a wonderful Thanksgiving and make it through without too much temptation or trouble. No stuck turkey, OK??? ;)
So, I'm barely back into obese, and I'm not 80# down anymore. Poop!
I guess this is good motivation to keep myself in check over the next few days of T-day madness. I have a Thanksgiving dinner today, tomorrow, AND Saturday that I'm slotted to attend. I might not go to the one on Saturday, though, if I can find some folks to go booty-shaking with me instead that night.
I know from experience that my body likes to do these little bounce-backs after a few weeks of good losses, but it's still not fun. My scale says that my body fat is lower, though, by a couple of percentage points. Hrmmmmmm.
Somehow I got put to task on making the foods I will not be actually eating for today. Mashed potatoes, homemade herb bread, and Nutella samosas. Oh yeah, and green beans. Those, I'll eat. ;) More bread-baking for tomorrow (a sourdough and an herb this time), and something sweet potato-y. I have some awesome sweet potato curries and such I could do, but my folks are traditionalists, so it will be something far too sticky sweet for my liking that I whip up instead.
I hope all my U.S. followers have a wonderful Thanksgiving and make it through without too much temptation or trouble. No stuck turkey, OK??? ;)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
I am a Warrior!!!
Yesterday was the Warrior Dash....
And I did it!!
I finished!
I finished in less than an hour!!
I wasn't even totally wiped out by the experience!!!
Amazingly enough, I was actually somewhere in the back of the middle group of finishers for my wave. I only came in about 5 minutes behind my spouse, and about 3-4 minutes ahead of our friend that ran with us. I really expected both fellas to leave me totally in the dust (or mud). But nope -- I really held my own!
This was a huge facing-my-fear experience for me. All through school, I was the chubby chick who was picked last for teams, the slowest runner, etc. Running was my least favorite physical activity -- ever. So, I went into this experience with two very distinct minds. Logically, I knew that I would finish. After all, I'd been finishing within a decent time in training. Inside, though, some big part of me was convinced that I'd be the fat chick last straggler of the day, making my embarrassed way through the final gauntlet with all these people looking on and smirking/laughing at me.
After it was over, I was sore -- but not in my legs or feet. In my shoulders, across my back. Apparently I had been holding on to my fear and anxiety in a physical way and hadn't even realized it until it was all over. I literally felt like a noodle, and I really was wishing for a hot tub. heheh
Now, though, I am SO glad that I did it, and I think my spouse and a few of our friends that were there in other waves are going to try to hit more of these adventure races around Texas. The idea of a regular 5K doesn't really appeal to me as much, but I loved running through the muck and mud, sliding down hills, climbing over cars and walls, and wrangling my way through and over rope obstacles.
Bring it on!!!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
80! Not Obese! and New Hair!
Hey so I guess I should update!
After 3 weeks of inexplicable great numbers on the scale, I'm solidly down over 80 pounds total since the start of 2010. Yay!
This milestone gets me a couple of others.
-- According to the BMI calculation, I am no longer obese -- now I am merely overweight. :D
-- And, I am 2/3 of the way to my goal range - I'm aiming for somewhere between 145 and 150 pounds.
Today I got my hair cut and colored. You can't see how bright the red is in this shot, but I have bright streaks of red in near-black. No more crazy salt-n-pepper hair, woot!
Day after tomorrow is the Warrior Dash. I'm not really sure I'm ready. I know I'll finish, but I don't know if I will manage it in less than an hour. I've been able to get my time down to 40 minutes to cover the same distance (3.2 miles) on the treadmill, but the race is on a horsetrail with 12 obstacles, so I'm sure my time will increase considerably from the treadmill time. I don't have a great pedometer, so I haven't been able to tell how I'm faring when I've taken my running out to outdoor trails. Guess we'll see!
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Oh look, I'm on the radar again....
... and other thoughts.
So last night's Freak Homecoming Dance brought home something that I'd noticed every other time I've lost weight, but hadn't noticed yet this go-around. Usually, right around the time I hit onederland, I come back on the radar as far as attention from guys is concerned. I haven't been particularly social, so it hadn't come up too much yet, but last night it definitely did. I showed up, and the attention was *immediate* from a couple of guys I'd dated casually in my long-lost past (who haven't said hardly boo to me in the intervening "fat" years -- not rude to me, I was just invisible). And another guy that I never dated, but knew me back in the late 90s came up to me and was asking me what I'd been up to, why he hadn't seen me around since he moved to Austin, etc. The thing is, he HAS seen me around.... but I didn't register on his radar, so he never realized that we were at the same parties and such for the last couple of years. LOL
I got a little bit of the same sort of stuff at a local monthly social dinner recently. Several guys (who I've seen at these things every few months for the past 3 years) apparently just noticed I exist. It's weird and disconcerting. At least the female contingent of my various social circles is more observant (and less "radar"-oriented, it seems). heheheh
On the flipside, I have been noticing some other interesting phenomena. A post from Lap Band Gal got me to thinking about my attitudes about justifying food, and about how people react to food statements. And about how those attitudes and reactions change as I become less overweight.
I was at a new Chinese place with my spouse and kids a couple of nights ago. Kind of like Pei Wei, but local and with less options. Anyways, there was a very obese couple eating at a table near where the line to order was. They had ordered the lettuce wraps as an appetizer, and I was really impressed with the large portion size (as I was looking to feed all four of us off it). I commented that "Wow, that's a big amount" or something similar, and immediately I could tell that she had interpreted it wrong -- her eyes narrowed and she mumbled something about how it was only chicken and mushrooms and lettuce. She would have probably taken it as intended from the 270# me, but it definitely went awry from the 191# me. Oops. I casually clarified that it was a lot of bang for the buck and proceeded to order one of the same for us, plus my entree, my spouse's, and a kids' entree for them to split. We then proceeded to discuss kids and her grandkids, so I think everything was fine from there, but there was a real moment of ACK on my part. I guess I'm going to have to think about what I say more closely, as I'm so used to being on that side of the fence that I still see myself there --- even if other people don't now.
My camera last night had serious blurry issues, so I didn't get any good body pics. But, there were other cameras and a pro taking pics too, so once those are posted, hopefully there will be one where I can see how I actually looked. I don't have a full head-to-toe mirror here, so I never did get to see the total package that I managed to wrangle for an outfit. ;)
So last night's Freak Homecoming Dance brought home something that I'd noticed every other time I've lost weight, but hadn't noticed yet this go-around. Usually, right around the time I hit onederland, I come back on the radar as far as attention from guys is concerned. I haven't been particularly social, so it hadn't come up too much yet, but last night it definitely did. I showed up, and the attention was *immediate* from a couple of guys I'd dated casually in my long-lost past (who haven't said hardly boo to me in the intervening "fat" years -- not rude to me, I was just invisible). And another guy that I never dated, but knew me back in the late 90s came up to me and was asking me what I'd been up to, why he hadn't seen me around since he moved to Austin, etc. The thing is, he HAS seen me around.... but I didn't register on his radar, so he never realized that we were at the same parties and such for the last couple of years. LOL
I got a little bit of the same sort of stuff at a local monthly social dinner recently. Several guys (who I've seen at these things every few months for the past 3 years) apparently just noticed I exist. It's weird and disconcerting. At least the female contingent of my various social circles is more observant (and less "radar"-oriented, it seems). heheheh
On the flipside, I have been noticing some other interesting phenomena. A post from Lap Band Gal got me to thinking about my attitudes about justifying food, and about how people react to food statements. And about how those attitudes and reactions change as I become less overweight.
I was at a new Chinese place with my spouse and kids a couple of nights ago. Kind of like Pei Wei, but local and with less options. Anyways, there was a very obese couple eating at a table near where the line to order was. They had ordered the lettuce wraps as an appetizer, and I was really impressed with the large portion size (as I was looking to feed all four of us off it). I commented that "Wow, that's a big amount" or something similar, and immediately I could tell that she had interpreted it wrong -- her eyes narrowed and she mumbled something about how it was only chicken and mushrooms and lettuce. She would have probably taken it as intended from the 270# me, but it definitely went awry from the 191# me. Oops. I casually clarified that it was a lot of bang for the buck and proceeded to order one of the same for us, plus my entree, my spouse's, and a kids' entree for them to split. We then proceeded to discuss kids and her grandkids, so I think everything was fine from there, but there was a real moment of ACK on my part. I guess I'm going to have to think about what I say more closely, as I'm so used to being on that side of the fence that I still see myself there --- even if other people don't now.
My camera last night had serious blurry issues, so I didn't get any good body pics. But, there were other cameras and a pro taking pics too, so once those are posted, hopefully there will be one where I can see how I actually looked. I don't have a full head-to-toe mirror here, so I never did get to see the total package that I managed to wrangle for an outfit. ;)
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